You know the feeling when you have to do something new? The sick pit in your stomach, how am I going to get through this feeling? It happens when you  start a new business, stand up for yourself, speak in public, try out for volleyball, buy that risky investment, go to university in your 30’s…

My classes started again this week.  I’m a student in my 30’s!

I had to pretend that I was just older, not old!  I had to act like I didn’t care that I sat alone at the bbq for management students.  I also had to act nonchalont that the professor already knows me by name.   

A friend of mine told me that when you get that sick feeling on embarking on something new, it’s a sign you should be doing it.   Should I be doing this?

When Wanda gets challenged – she runs!  Not literally, are you kidding?!  At first I thought maybe I was afraid of failing, but I think I’ve been afraid of succeeding.  Of completing a dream and following it through.  I don’t think I’ve done that before.  I’m just really great at DREAMING BIG.

So I haven’t been blogging or doing any journaling or personal reading.  In fact I’ve been shopping up a storm and bike riding and baking and tiling my backsplash and surfing the web.  All to prevent thinking about the uncomfortable classes.  That’s how I deal with trouble.  I’m sure I’m not alone in this.  Distract, distract, distract.

I tell myself that it’s okay to choose things for yourself that might not make sense to others.  I want to quit, withdraw.  But I won’t. {sigh}  Enough whining.

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But I have been praying.  Praying for the little 3 year old boy who was abducted here in Canada.  Can’t get him out of my head.  Our prayers will not be in vain.  The Lord God Loves the little Children.  {pray long, without ceasing}

 

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