The semester has begun and I have trudged back on campus with my black boots and leather purse. I’m so excited to have these days of learning. After a semester of rethinking my goals and ambitions life seems to have realigned. Or maybe I have? It was good to be home and take care of the house and drive the kids around. My days were really full, even WITHOUT me studying. This is a lesson learner for the upcoming 3 months. The days will be even more full and I have to manage time carefully.
I called Wes when I left campus on Thursday, so excited about the material and the prof’s that I stalled my car at the stop light. It’s a push button start so when I hung up the car phone I pushed the off button for the car instead of the phone. Yes, I felt silly. Back to earth Wanda, back to earth.
I (we) act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all I (we) need to make me (us) really happy is something to be enthusiastic about.
Last night I spoke with my grandma (in-law) who is really dear to me. She was our neighbour when I started having babies and brought me cookies and held the baby while I got to brush my hair. She wondered aloud, “why I’m doing this?” and “I don’t know how you do it?”
I understand her questions. Most people assume that once you’ve had kids, you’re done. Career picked and settled. But my path was a bit different. I never felt done. My years of contributing to society and being productive was not finished with my family work.
Deep inside there is a pulse that moves me. Many obstacles have been thrown at it and it just keeps beating. Calling me. You might have that too. A desire or dream that comes from outside yourself but lives within making you do things that seem unreasonable to most.
My higher learning is certainly not “noble” or “spiritual” by any stretch, but it is real and it is mine.
How am I doing this all with four kids, a husband, shift work, sports, music and all the rest?
I get up each day and thank the Lord for his gift of today; write a bit, do my exercises, and go to it. Routines get made one day at a time.
One day at a time.