Through the crowd of students I saw him. We wait in the hallway outside of the highschool drama room after the production. He’s one of the last actors to leave.
He runs his hands through his hair and gives a nod when he sees us. After congratulating him on his performance we laugh about the T.V. on the set mysteriously turning on at the end. (It was honestly not supposed to!) Some sort of wierd electrical charge.
I am so proud and stand in awe that this child that I birthed 16 years ago is coming of age. No, he is of age. He is having the time of his life in that drama group.
Somehow a lot of time has passed in that one blink.
I have this vision of life passing by me and I’m waving and cheering everyone on, only to look around and I’ve left with me; standing in the bleachers, the game is done and there’s no one left to cheer. Now what? What if I don’t accomplish what I intend? Don’t write that book, don’t lose that last 15 pounds (okay, maybe 20…), don’t make that one million? The list goes on.
As I write it down I can see how foolish it is. It’s so foolish to live by fear of what you might not do. I think my fear comes as a precursor to children growing up and leaving the home. SO MUCH time has been invested into these people and all that time will soon be given to back to me. What am I going to do with all that TIME?
Then like a zoom lens I see today. A day with it’s own rhythm and blessings and frustrations. I painted, sanded and swept our house, drove to soccer practice and listened to stories of sore stomachs and watched the opening night of Applebox Theatre Productions. There is enough in each day to be thankful for let alone worry about. That’ll be enough I think.
Therefor do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself..